Things I should have told you but didn’t —
I noticed you sitting there quietly with your book in the corner of the library. I should have walked to say hello. I didn’t have the courage to.
In class I noticed when you walked by me to get to your seat in the back. And I smelled your cologne for the first time. I liked it way more than I should.
I started to look for you in crowds, hoping I could somehow come across you.. introduce myself, maybe be your friend, anything… I would have settled for anything to have you in my life or be in yours.
I noticed you when we were all sitting in groups, hanging out, enjoying ourselves .
The way your eyes lit up and you slapped you best friend on the back laughing. Your laugh… God I loved that moment. I couldn’t even talk to you then. You made me speechless.
I know how people talk about time slowing down when they are with the person they love. I don’t know much about that. But I do know this that the first time I looked into your eyes nothing existed around me. It was just your honey coloured eyes that had sunlight trapped in them. A swirl of mahogany in pools of dark mocha. Okay, maybe I am trying to be poetic here. But I knew my every hero will have your eyes.
The last time I saw you. It was my birthday, you were blushing because somebody mentioned my name. We were both teased about it.
I wanted to break down right there next to the street in the car because they didn’t know what I knew then. You’d never be mine. Never. I didn’t even have a chance.
In your life, in a sea of faces you’d forget mine and I ‘d seek yours.
That’s our story.
That’s a part of my story.
The allure of unavailable.