Hush for now I have already said too much

My anxiety acts up everytime I try something new. 

I try to avoid it but it catches up.

It’s fast and determined. A loyal companion.

Sometimes I don’t know who’s keeping up with who.

Is it keeping up with me or am I keeping up with it? 

Figuring it out is hectic and exhausting.

I do not have the energy to deal with it anymore but I don’t have an option.

No way out.
It’s not bad enough to seek help.

It’s just there.. enough to make its presence felt.

Tiny nagging voice telling me to reach early or else I’m going to be late, when I am early it tells me I am at the wrong place.

Or maybe it is checking tiny details 10, 15 too many times just to be sure. You are going to make a mistake.

Or it is the crippling fear staring me in the face everytime somebody tells me that they love me.
I don’t believe it.

Well, I try my best not to.

Palipating heart and shaking sweating hands.
Or maybe I’m overthinking… Overthinking about overthinking

I’m going in circles.

Are my fears even valid or did I just make them up?

Hush for now I have already said too much.


___________

Let me know what you think of it.

Your comments mean a lot. 💓

Also, I know the title isn’t the perfect choice for this write up but I couldn’t think of another one. 😐

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